I never asked to be the spitting image of your blood line

Ok so this post is uber personal. This was actaully a letter I wrote to my grandmother about how I feel she has been to me for all of my live. Read it and leave comments


I'm tired of being the spitting of your blood line,
but it's hard being forced to define who you are by race
I'm tired of trying to keep up the pace,
trying to connect with a woman who never fully accepted the "mess" her daughter created.

Just because the dirty stained cloth of hatred and bigotry draps across your already fragile shoulders
doesn't mean the spawn of your only daughter, the hope for your tomorrow has to suffer
Love is a 3-word sentence
Something you never let in because you fenced in your emotions

I was 14 years old when I was first told of your lies
my mother & granfather died within 7 months of each other.
At their wakes, being stared at because of my color made me tremble
because I realize you never told your other family about me

You confuse me, see my pictures sit on your walls like trophies but you never tried to get to know me
I don't hate you though I should

Love is a 3-word sentence
Something you never let in because you fenced in your emotions
I love you
I need you
I appericate you
I accept you
I...forgive...you

I forgive you for the 19 birthdays you missed,
for that one kiss planted on my cheek by hate filled lips,
and for all the calls, I guess, God didn't bless with me
I never asked you to be my friend
I just wanted you in my life again

I never asked to be the spitting image of your blood line,
but it's hard being forced to define who you are by race
Just because the dirty stained cloth of hatred and bigotry draps across your already fragile shoulders
doesn't mean I have to suffer